Is There Power in Positive Thinking?

            Is there power in positive thinking? It’s a question often asked by our society, one in which stressors play a very important part in our lives. Positive thinking, although small, has a lot of power and can impact the control over difficult circumstances. The power of positive thinking leads to the achievement of goals and a good health.

            First of all, in order to achieve goals, a person needs to have a positive mind. A positive thought leads to a positive reaction in various situations. For instance, if an individual wants to accomplish a career in the U.S., he/she knows that they will face many setbacks like the language barrier, in which case he/she will have to start from the bottom and work hard to the top to gradually reach their goal. This can only be possible when a person has positive thoughts and therefore, attitudes that allow the focus and determination needed to reach his/her goals.

            Secondly, positive thinking can be a powerful tool when it comes to health. It is very important to be positive in order to overcome any health obstacles. To illustrate, if a patient has caner, they have a higher chance of overcoming this illness with positive thinking. In a short video shown by Dr. McCormick, the speaker, Barbara, mentions that due to her positive thinking, she was able to fight and survive breast cancer. As you can see, positive thinking allowed her to believe that she was going to survive this illness and gave her reason to fight through it.

            Hence, a positive thought can make a huge difference in the outcome of any situation. Positive thinking allows us to achieve our goals and is related to a good health which eventually leads to happiness.

Pharmaceutical Drugs and Happiness

            Everyone becomes depressed in one point in time, but some people decide that just because they are a little depressed that they can just automatically take pills. Some do not know the risks or the other outcomes that come along with taking the antidepressant. Some people just simply take it because they assume that it would automatically make them happy and use it as a “happy pill”. When actually antidepressant pills can do more harm than good in regards to happiness and living a better lifestyle. Even while taking the medication can sometimes mess up the way you function because of the different symptoms that come with it. Sometimes people get too carried away and become dependent on the drug that they are taking, and without it, it becomes hard to function in everyday situations.   

Most people usually just take prescription drugs without actually knowing the benefit of it. Sometimes people try to look for a better solution in regards to their own personal problems but sometimes taking medication is not the best solution, especially if the person is using them for a different purpose:” Antidepressant drugs are not happy pills, and they are not a panacea. They are prescription-only drugs that come with risks as well as benefits…” (Healthyplace.com) This explains how antidepressant pills are not just pills that you take just to get a little happy. It’s a serious drug that should be taken under medical supervision. Some just automatically assume that since they are feeling a little bit depressed and have access to certain drugs that it is okay to go on antidepressants. When in reality it can actually harm certain people, because of the risks that come with it. Finding natural ways to help rid of their depression or anxiety can be both helpful and beneficial to that person.

            Antidepressants are very common pharmaceutical drugs especially in America. Antidepressants are drugs for relieving depression. “Depression is an affecting mood disorder characterized by episodes of deep unhappiness or lost of interest in life, and other symptoms” (Lahey 487). Antidepressants are drugs that also alleviate depression or extreme feeling of sadness or melancholy for instance if a person feels or experiences episodes of deep sadness, they can go to a psychiatrist and they may prescribe an antidepressant in which case it will make them “happy.” The most popular drugs to treat depression are, Prozac, Zoloft, Norpramin, Paxil, Lexapro, etc.

            On the other hand, antidepressants often cause serious and unpleasant side effects. Some of the side effects of antidepressants are: blurred vision, constipation, dry mouth, urinary retention, sleep disruption, increase of appetite which results in weight gain, nausea and loss of libido and many more. Many of the side effects last only a few weeks and then go away, if it doesn’t then you can learn ways to manage it. One should not stop taking their antidepressants or reduce the dosage without consulting their doctor or mental health provider. If a person stops suddenly then it can cause withdrawal-like health problems. A person should always tell their health care provider about their side effects because some can be serious and can even risk their lives too.

 In many cases, side effects can be so bad (or risky) that it can cause a threat to someone’s health. While the antidepressants can fix one problem in the brain, it can harm the body by the side effects that come along with it. This can also sometimes lead to other health problems too, which can cause someone to take other drugs as well: “Norpramin with Inderal (to lower high blood pressure caused by Nopramin); Prozac (at first to counteract the Inderal, which made me depressed); Prozac and Nopramin; Prozac, Norpramin, and Yocon (to alleviate sexual dysfunction caused by the Prozac)”. (Critser, Greg, 37) Therefore these side effects can lead to more risks than benefits in regards to living a better life. All of the side effects mentioned above can make a person feel more unhappy because if someone is sick they don’t feel well or happy. If it affects someone’s physical health, it can affect their emotional health too which will make the situation worse. Although there are many side effects to these drugs, many refuse to give it up because of the dependency.                                                                                                

Another potential harm is the development of a psychological addiction to anti depressants. So mental dependency can be dangerous because it may lead to over dose and sometimes it can lead to death. A person dependant on this drug is unhappy because their happiness revolves around that pill. “Any drug that we rely on to produce false emotions can become psychologically addictive; some individuals feel that they cannot function effectively without taking antidepressants and even go as far as ‘demanding’ repeat prescriptions from their GP; they are now addicted to their medication”. (Steps2rehab.com)Becoming dependent doesn’t always mean that your happy because without that pill, one feels that they cannot function and life can become very difficult. What if you need it and it is not available? The outcome can become quite tragic which can lead to unhappiness in life.                                                                                                                                                                                           

Happiness is questionable in American society. People have more stressors in this society. They cannot deal with it and as a result, it’s harder to maintain happiness. Therefore, most Americans suffer from depression and are on antidepressant drugs. People should pursue other solutions which will create long term benefits, rather than short term happiness. People go directly and take the pill rather than even try to cope with stress. Searching for a solution can sometimes become difficult in times of desperation; people sometimes just seek out the easiest solution that might not even be long lasting but only beneficial for the moment. “But antidepressants aren’t a silver bullet for depression. Medication doesn’t cure the underlying problem and is rarely a long-term solution.” (Helpguide.org). Most people just view antidepressants as an easy way to “cure” depression, when in reality the feelings are only temporary. The depression and the problems are still there when they are taking the pill, but once someone stops taking the certain drug, it can become quite hard to function in life. Antidepressants are illusions for people which bring short term happiness. People are being tricked by it because the effect of the drug lies only for a short period of time. Some natural ways to get rid of depression and anxiety are nutrition and diet, exercise, hypnosis, yoga, and sound/music therapy. Also, “talk” therapy can be done one-on-one or in groups which will lead to long lasting happiness in some cases.                                                             
Antidepressants can sometimes feel like it can help some people, but in reality it is doing more harm than good. Most people go through life and whined up getting depressed then getting hooked on antidepressant drugs to help cope with their depression.  Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t, but by finding the right type of medication that suits that particular person and that can actually help them without any type of consequence or long term symptoms. As soon as someone goes through a crisis the first thing they turn to is drugs or medication, they do not know that many things can go wrong while using antidepressants, so sometimes it’s better to find natural ways to get rid of depression and anxiety.

Happiness in Relationships- Final Paper

Happiness in Relationships

            Plants need soil, water, sunlight, seeds, patience, and constant care to grow. In the same manner, relationships are similar. There are many factors involved in starting and continuing happier relationships. Relationships are complicated, so in order to maintain happiness, we need to conserve them. In any type of relationships like parent-child relationship, husband-wife relationship and friendship there are many features which have to be taken into consideration in order to flourish a happy relationship. People can cultivate happier relationships through unconditional love, compromise, realistic expectations and acceptance.

            One element a relationship must have is unconditional love. Unconditional love is to love someone for who they really are and people enjoy that kind of love. Unconditional love can be for people or animals. Humans who show unconditional love expect nothing in return, as the poet Oscar Wilde has said, “To give and not expect return, that is what lies at the heart of love.” A mother-child relationship is a good example which portrays this. The mother’s love for the child is unconditional. She expects nothing in return from the child. Even if the child turns out to be a thief or murderer, a mother’s love will be the same. It will not become less or fade away. As Tal-Ben Shahar has mentioned in his article entitled, “Happiness in Relationships”, “Unconditional love creates a parallel circle of happiness- in which we are encouraged to pursue those things that are meaningful and pleasurable for us.” Referring back to the example, a mother seeks to please her child in many ways because he/she is meaningful to her and she receives pleasure from it. He further says, “Unconditional love is the foundation of a happy relationship.” Therefore, unconditional love is necessary to manage a happier relationship.

It’s difficult to cultivate a relationship without compromise. It takes patience, listening, and fair expectations to build up this mutual bond. In any relationship, people have to share everything they have equally, specifically all their responsibilities. For instance, in a marriage, the husband and wife should compromise with each other, especially when both of them are working. All the work involved in the household like cleaning, cooking, washing dishes, etc, should be shared equitably. In this way, one person doesn’t feel over burdened and stressed out. It’s a two-way street. If a person doesn’t share the household responsibilities, he/she will be considered selfish, which in turn will break the relationship. Whereas, if a person will share their responsibilities, they will build a healthy relationship, which will turn into a happy relationship. Tal-Ben Shahar, in his article “Happiness in Relationships” states, “In order to feel satisfied within a relationship, we have to feel that the transaction is equitable.” If one of the partners feels that they are putting in more than the other, so that the other can feel more comfortable and relaxed, both partners will end up feeling unhappy in their lives. Hence, in order to be happy in any relationship, the give and take process must be equal.

            Also, for a happy relationship, people need to have fair, realistic expectations. Humans need to understand that nobody is perfect. An individual has good as well as bad sides. People go along well with the good side, but they should learn to compromise with the bad side. An individual thinks that they don’t see or expect much from each other in a relationship, but it’s not true. People have high expectations for each other, so they need to realize that when they have high or unfair expectations towards each other, they have a tendency to hurt each other. This can cause any consanguinity to fail. One has to accept people the way they are. Part of compromise is to be realistic of your partner’s expectations. American politician and author, Bruce Barton has said, “If you expect perfection from other people, your whole life is a series of disappointments, grumbling and complaints. If, on the contrary, you pitch your expectations low, taking folks as the inefficient creatures which they are, you are frequently surprised by having them perform better than you had hoped.” Based on this, if people have high/unfair expectations, their life would be filled with unhappiness, whereas, if people have low/fair expectations towards each other, they will be more efficient, perform better than anyone had expected, and their lives will be filled with happiness. In order to obtain happiness, one should have fair, realistic expectations to foster happiness in relationships.

            Another factor that happy relationships must have is acceptance. An individual needs to have understanding and patience in order to accept the other person in any relationship. Accepting something means that you are accepting the entire thing. You can’t take the good qualities and leave out the bad ones. For instance, in friendship, both friends must accept the strengths and weaknesses of the other. Accepting each others weaknesses means that a person understands his/her friend as he/she is. Furthermore, acceptance will result in trust and intimacy. As Tal-Ben Shahar has mentioned in his article, “Happiness in Relationships”, “To cultivate genuine intimacy the focus in a relationship must shift from the desire to be validated- seeking approval and praise- to the desire to be known.” In other words, a person needs to be real to be known and only then can he/she build trust and intimacy. One can only be intimate when they know the person for real because intimacy means real closeness. This shows the relationship between being known and intimacy, which means moving from a superficial level to a more sincere level. All in all, the desire to be known interlinks with the quality of acceptance. Therefore, acceptance plays a major role in developing a happier relationship.

            Thus, unconditional love is essential for a relationship to grow happier. It is also necessary to have fair and realistic expectations. In addition, acceptance results in trust and intimacy which helps build a stronger relationship. Therefore, in any relationship, whether it’s a parent-child relationship, husband-wife, or friendship there are many aspects to work on to make the relationship happier. Hence, cultivating happiness in relationships requires unconditional love, compromise, and acceptance.

What I am Grateful For...

I express my gratitude to many individuals and things in my life. First of all, I am grateful to God for giving me this precious life. Secondly, I am grateful to my parents for taking care of me and molding me into the mature individual I am today. Whenever I need them, they are always there for me. I am also grateful to my husband who is understanding. He is there to support my family financially. Since I want to build a career, I go to college for further education. If he wouldn’t have been there, I would have to juggle between my family, college, and work. I am also grateful to my loving and understanding children- daughter and son. They are very supportive in my education. For instance, they help me do household chores, like vacuuming the floor, washing dishes, doing grocery, etc, so that I have time to study. I am thankful to my professors for helping me develop my talents and skills. I am also happy to have a good education, healthy body, clothing, shelter, and food. I am grateful to all those who have created modern medicine. Overall, I thank God for giving me everything.

Happiness in relationships - draft

Gulzar Valli

Professor E. McCormick

English 101

11/6/10

Happiness in Relationships

            Plants need soil, water, sunlight, seeds, patience, and constant care to grow. In the same manner, relationships are similar. There are many factors involved in starting and continuing happier relationships. Relationships are complicated, so in order to maintain happiness, we need to conserve them. People can cultivate happier relationships through unconditional love, compromise, and acceptance.

            One factor a relationship must have is unconditional love. Unconditional love is to love someone for who they really are. People enjoy being loved for who they really are. Unconditional love can be for people or anyone. Humans who show unconditional love, expect nothing in return. A mother-child relationship is a good example which portrays this. The mother’s love for the child is unconditional. She expects nothing in return from the child. Even if the child turns out to be a thief or murderer, a mother’s love will be the same. It will not become less or fade away. As Tal-Ben Shahar has mentioned in his article entitled, “Happiness in Relationships”, “Unconditional love creates a parallel circle of happiness- in which we are encouraged to pursue those things that are meaningful and pleasurable for us.” Referring back to the example, a mother seeks to please her child in many ways because he/she is meaningful to her and she receives pleasure from it. He further says, “Unconditional love is the foundation of a happy relationship.” Therefore, unconditional love is necessary to manage a happier relationship.

It’s difficult to cultivate a relationship without compromise. It takes patience, listening, and fair expectations to build up this mutual bond. In any relationship, people have to share everything they have equally, specifically all the responsibilities. For instance, in a marriage, the husband and wife should compromise with each other, especially when both of them are working. All the work involved in the household like cleaning, cooking, washing dishes, etc should be shared equitably. In this way, one person doesn’t feel over burdened and stressed out. It’s a two-way street. If a person doesn’t share the household responsibilities, he/she will be considered selfish, which in turn will break the relationship, whereas if a person will share the responsibilities, they will build a healthy relationship which will turn into a happy relationship. Tal-Ben Shahar, in his article “Happiness in Relationships” states, “In order to feel satisfied within a relationship, we have to feel that the transaction is equitable.” If one of the partners feels that they are putting in more than the other, so that the other can feel more comfortable and relaxed, both partners will end up feeling unhappy in their life. Hence, in order to be happy in any relationship, the give and take process must be equal.

            Also for a happy relationship, people need to have fair, realistic expectations. Humans need to understand that nobody is perfect. An individual has good as well as bad sides. People go along well with the good side, but they should learn to compromise with the bad side. An individual thinks that they don’t see or expect much from each other in a relationship, but it’s not true. People have high expectations from each other, so they need to realize that when they have high or unfair expectations towards each other, they have a tendency to hurt each other. This can fail any consanguinity. One has to accept people the way they are. Part of compromise is to be realistic of your partner’s expectations. In order to obtain happiness, one should have fair expectations to foster happiness in relationships.

            Another factor that happy relationships must have is acceptance. An individual needs to have understanding and patience in order to accept the other person in any relationship. Accepting something means that you are accepting the entire thing. You can’t take the good qualities and leave out the bad ones. For instance, in friendship, both friends must accept the strengths and weaknesses of the other. Accepting each others weaknesses means that a person understands his/her friend as he/she is. Furthermore, acceptance will result in trust and intimacy. As Tal-Ben Shahar has mentioned in his article, “Happiness in Relationships”, “To cultivate genuine intimacy the focus in a relationship must shift from the desire to be validated- seeking approval and praise- to the desire to be known.” In other words, a person needs to be real to be known and only then can he/she build trust and intimacy. One can only be intimate when they know the person for real because intimacy means real closeness. This shows the relationship between being known and intimacy which means moving from a superficial level to a more sincere level. All in all, the desire to be known interlinks with the quality of acceptance. Therefore, acceptance plays a major role in developing a happier relationship.

            Thus, unconditional love is essential for a relationship to grow happier. It is also necessary to have fair and realistic expectations. In addition, acceptance results in trust and intimacy which helps build a stronger relationship. Hence, cultivating happiness in relationships requires unconditional love, compromise, and acceptance.

                       

Works Cited Page

Ben-Shahar, Tal. Happier. New York: Mc Graw -Hill, 2009.

Blog # 4

Happiness and Work

             Human beings need to work in order to fulfill their basic survival needs. We have to pay our rent, utility bills, grocery and all our basic necessities of life. In order to fulfill these needs, we need hard currency. This can be achieved from work or doing a job. It is also important that we are happy in our work in order to increase our satisfaction. So, hard currency and ultimate currency which go hand in hand are important for our survival. Now, how can we derive happiness in work?

            If we are interested in our work and if it matches our skills, then we will definitely derive satisfaction, which will lead to the ultimate currency, but some individuals work only for the hard currency. They look at their jobs, which will give them financial gains rather than personal satisfaction.

            Tal Ben-Shahar in his article named “Happiness in the Workplace” mentions, “Finding the right work, work that corresponds to both our passions and our strengths can be challenging.” I agree with him because I feel that it is very challenging to find a job in this bad economy which matches our passions and skills. For instance, I don’t have a job experience, but I have a friend named Jane who is a computer engineer. Due to the bad economy, she received a lay-off before a year.  At present, she works in Dunkin Donuts. She goes to work because she feels that she has to, rather than she wants to. Jane has no other expectations from her job besides her paycheck at the end of the week and looks forward to Friday for it. She is not happy at all because her skills are not matching her job. She has to pay her utility bills, rent, etc, so she is doing this job just for the sake of money.

           Hence, a career-minded person is primarily motivated by money as well as progress, so I think that thinking about meaning pleasure and our strengths can lead us towards more happiness and success in the workplace.

What did I find about myself?

I found out that I can be a counselor. After doing this activity, I also found that I can be a good Nurse, because I like to take care of people and feel happy helping those in need. As it is my dream to be a registered nurse, I think my skills correspond to my future goal which is to be a nurse.