Is There Power in Positive Thinking?

            Is there power in positive thinking? It’s a question often asked by our society, one in which stressors play a very important part in our lives. Positive thinking, although small, has a lot of power and can impact the control over difficult circumstances. The power of positive thinking leads to the achievement of goals and a good health.

            First of all, in order to achieve goals, a person needs to have a positive mind. A positive thought leads to a positive reaction in various situations. For instance, if an individual wants to accomplish a career in the U.S., he/she knows that they will face many setbacks like the language barrier, in which case he/she will have to start from the bottom and work hard to the top to gradually reach their goal. This can only be possible when a person has positive thoughts and therefore, attitudes that allow the focus and determination needed to reach his/her goals.

            Secondly, positive thinking can be a powerful tool when it comes to health. It is very important to be positive in order to overcome any health obstacles. To illustrate, if a patient has caner, they have a higher chance of overcoming this illness with positive thinking. In a short video shown by Dr. McCormick, the speaker, Barbara, mentions that due to her positive thinking, she was able to fight and survive breast cancer. As you can see, positive thinking allowed her to believe that she was going to survive this illness and gave her reason to fight through it.

            Hence, a positive thought can make a huge difference in the outcome of any situation. Positive thinking allows us to achieve our goals and is related to a good health which eventually leads to happiness.

Pharmaceutical Drugs and Happiness

            Everyone becomes depressed in one point in time, but some people decide that just because they are a little depressed that they can just automatically take pills. Some do not know the risks or the other outcomes that come along with taking the antidepressant. Some people just simply take it because they assume that it would automatically make them happy and use it as a “happy pill”. When actually antidepressant pills can do more harm than good in regards to happiness and living a better lifestyle. Even while taking the medication can sometimes mess up the way you function because of the different symptoms that come with it. Sometimes people get too carried away and become dependent on the drug that they are taking, and without it, it becomes hard to function in everyday situations.   

Most people usually just take prescription drugs without actually knowing the benefit of it. Sometimes people try to look for a better solution in regards to their own personal problems but sometimes taking medication is not the best solution, especially if the person is using them for a different purpose:” Antidepressant drugs are not happy pills, and they are not a panacea. They are prescription-only drugs that come with risks as well as benefits…” (Healthyplace.com) This explains how antidepressant pills are not just pills that you take just to get a little happy. It’s a serious drug that should be taken under medical supervision. Some just automatically assume that since they are feeling a little bit depressed and have access to certain drugs that it is okay to go on antidepressants. When in reality it can actually harm certain people, because of the risks that come with it. Finding natural ways to help rid of their depression or anxiety can be both helpful and beneficial to that person.

            Antidepressants are very common pharmaceutical drugs especially in America. Antidepressants are drugs for relieving depression. “Depression is an affecting mood disorder characterized by episodes of deep unhappiness or lost of interest in life, and other symptoms” (Lahey 487). Antidepressants are drugs that also alleviate depression or extreme feeling of sadness or melancholy for instance if a person feels or experiences episodes of deep sadness, they can go to a psychiatrist and they may prescribe an antidepressant in which case it will make them “happy.” The most popular drugs to treat depression are, Prozac, Zoloft, Norpramin, Paxil, Lexapro, etc.

            On the other hand, antidepressants often cause serious and unpleasant side effects. Some of the side effects of antidepressants are: blurred vision, constipation, dry mouth, urinary retention, sleep disruption, increase of appetite which results in weight gain, nausea and loss of libido and many more. Many of the side effects last only a few weeks and then go away, if it doesn’t then you can learn ways to manage it. One should not stop taking their antidepressants or reduce the dosage without consulting their doctor or mental health provider. If a person stops suddenly then it can cause withdrawal-like health problems. A person should always tell their health care provider about their side effects because some can be serious and can even risk their lives too.

 In many cases, side effects can be so bad (or risky) that it can cause a threat to someone’s health. While the antidepressants can fix one problem in the brain, it can harm the body by the side effects that come along with it. This can also sometimes lead to other health problems too, which can cause someone to take other drugs as well: “Norpramin with Inderal (to lower high blood pressure caused by Nopramin); Prozac (at first to counteract the Inderal, which made me depressed); Prozac and Nopramin; Prozac, Norpramin, and Yocon (to alleviate sexual dysfunction caused by the Prozac)”. (Critser, Greg, 37) Therefore these side effects can lead to more risks than benefits in regards to living a better life. All of the side effects mentioned above can make a person feel more unhappy because if someone is sick they don’t feel well or happy. If it affects someone’s physical health, it can affect their emotional health too which will make the situation worse. Although there are many side effects to these drugs, many refuse to give it up because of the dependency.                                                                                                

Another potential harm is the development of a psychological addiction to anti depressants. So mental dependency can be dangerous because it may lead to over dose and sometimes it can lead to death. A person dependant on this drug is unhappy because their happiness revolves around that pill. “Any drug that we rely on to produce false emotions can become psychologically addictive; some individuals feel that they cannot function effectively without taking antidepressants and even go as far as ‘demanding’ repeat prescriptions from their GP; they are now addicted to their medication”. (Steps2rehab.com)Becoming dependent doesn’t always mean that your happy because without that pill, one feels that they cannot function and life can become very difficult. What if you need it and it is not available? The outcome can become quite tragic which can lead to unhappiness in life.                                                                                                                                                                                           

Happiness is questionable in American society. People have more stressors in this society. They cannot deal with it and as a result, it’s harder to maintain happiness. Therefore, most Americans suffer from depression and are on antidepressant drugs. People should pursue other solutions which will create long term benefits, rather than short term happiness. People go directly and take the pill rather than even try to cope with stress. Searching for a solution can sometimes become difficult in times of desperation; people sometimes just seek out the easiest solution that might not even be long lasting but only beneficial for the moment. “But antidepressants aren’t a silver bullet for depression. Medication doesn’t cure the underlying problem and is rarely a long-term solution.” (Helpguide.org). Most people just view antidepressants as an easy way to “cure” depression, when in reality the feelings are only temporary. The depression and the problems are still there when they are taking the pill, but once someone stops taking the certain drug, it can become quite hard to function in life. Antidepressants are illusions for people which bring short term happiness. People are being tricked by it because the effect of the drug lies only for a short period of time. Some natural ways to get rid of depression and anxiety are nutrition and diet, exercise, hypnosis, yoga, and sound/music therapy. Also, “talk” therapy can be done one-on-one or in groups which will lead to long lasting happiness in some cases.                                                             
Antidepressants can sometimes feel like it can help some people, but in reality it is doing more harm than good. Most people go through life and whined up getting depressed then getting hooked on antidepressant drugs to help cope with their depression.  Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t, but by finding the right type of medication that suits that particular person and that can actually help them without any type of consequence or long term symptoms. As soon as someone goes through a crisis the first thing they turn to is drugs or medication, they do not know that many things can go wrong while using antidepressants, so sometimes it’s better to find natural ways to get rid of depression and anxiety.

Happiness in Relationships- Final Paper

Happiness in Relationships

            Plants need soil, water, sunlight, seeds, patience, and constant care to grow. In the same manner, relationships are similar. There are many factors involved in starting and continuing happier relationships. Relationships are complicated, so in order to maintain happiness, we need to conserve them. In any type of relationships like parent-child relationship, husband-wife relationship and friendship there are many features which have to be taken into consideration in order to flourish a happy relationship. People can cultivate happier relationships through unconditional love, compromise, realistic expectations and acceptance.

            One element a relationship must have is unconditional love. Unconditional love is to love someone for who they really are and people enjoy that kind of love. Unconditional love can be for people or animals. Humans who show unconditional love expect nothing in return, as the poet Oscar Wilde has said, “To give and not expect return, that is what lies at the heart of love.” A mother-child relationship is a good example which portrays this. The mother’s love for the child is unconditional. She expects nothing in return from the child. Even if the child turns out to be a thief or murderer, a mother’s love will be the same. It will not become less or fade away. As Tal-Ben Shahar has mentioned in his article entitled, “Happiness in Relationships”, “Unconditional love creates a parallel circle of happiness- in which we are encouraged to pursue those things that are meaningful and pleasurable for us.” Referring back to the example, a mother seeks to please her child in many ways because he/she is meaningful to her and she receives pleasure from it. He further says, “Unconditional love is the foundation of a happy relationship.” Therefore, unconditional love is necessary to manage a happier relationship.

It’s difficult to cultivate a relationship without compromise. It takes patience, listening, and fair expectations to build up this mutual bond. In any relationship, people have to share everything they have equally, specifically all their responsibilities. For instance, in a marriage, the husband and wife should compromise with each other, especially when both of them are working. All the work involved in the household like cleaning, cooking, washing dishes, etc, should be shared equitably. In this way, one person doesn’t feel over burdened and stressed out. It’s a two-way street. If a person doesn’t share the household responsibilities, he/she will be considered selfish, which in turn will break the relationship. Whereas, if a person will share their responsibilities, they will build a healthy relationship, which will turn into a happy relationship. Tal-Ben Shahar, in his article “Happiness in Relationships” states, “In order to feel satisfied within a relationship, we have to feel that the transaction is equitable.” If one of the partners feels that they are putting in more than the other, so that the other can feel more comfortable and relaxed, both partners will end up feeling unhappy in their lives. Hence, in order to be happy in any relationship, the give and take process must be equal.

            Also, for a happy relationship, people need to have fair, realistic expectations. Humans need to understand that nobody is perfect. An individual has good as well as bad sides. People go along well with the good side, but they should learn to compromise with the bad side. An individual thinks that they don’t see or expect much from each other in a relationship, but it’s not true. People have high expectations for each other, so they need to realize that when they have high or unfair expectations towards each other, they have a tendency to hurt each other. This can cause any consanguinity to fail. One has to accept people the way they are. Part of compromise is to be realistic of your partner’s expectations. American politician and author, Bruce Barton has said, “If you expect perfection from other people, your whole life is a series of disappointments, grumbling and complaints. If, on the contrary, you pitch your expectations low, taking folks as the inefficient creatures which they are, you are frequently surprised by having them perform better than you had hoped.” Based on this, if people have high/unfair expectations, their life would be filled with unhappiness, whereas, if people have low/fair expectations towards each other, they will be more efficient, perform better than anyone had expected, and their lives will be filled with happiness. In order to obtain happiness, one should have fair, realistic expectations to foster happiness in relationships.

            Another factor that happy relationships must have is acceptance. An individual needs to have understanding and patience in order to accept the other person in any relationship. Accepting something means that you are accepting the entire thing. You can’t take the good qualities and leave out the bad ones. For instance, in friendship, both friends must accept the strengths and weaknesses of the other. Accepting each others weaknesses means that a person understands his/her friend as he/she is. Furthermore, acceptance will result in trust and intimacy. As Tal-Ben Shahar has mentioned in his article, “Happiness in Relationships”, “To cultivate genuine intimacy the focus in a relationship must shift from the desire to be validated- seeking approval and praise- to the desire to be known.” In other words, a person needs to be real to be known and only then can he/she build trust and intimacy. One can only be intimate when they know the person for real because intimacy means real closeness. This shows the relationship between being known and intimacy, which means moving from a superficial level to a more sincere level. All in all, the desire to be known interlinks with the quality of acceptance. Therefore, acceptance plays a major role in developing a happier relationship.

            Thus, unconditional love is essential for a relationship to grow happier. It is also necessary to have fair and realistic expectations. In addition, acceptance results in trust and intimacy which helps build a stronger relationship. Therefore, in any relationship, whether it’s a parent-child relationship, husband-wife, or friendship there are many aspects to work on to make the relationship happier. Hence, cultivating happiness in relationships requires unconditional love, compromise, and acceptance.

What I am Grateful For...

I express my gratitude to many individuals and things in my life. First of all, I am grateful to God for giving me this precious life. Secondly, I am grateful to my parents for taking care of me and molding me into the mature individual I am today. Whenever I need them, they are always there for me. I am also grateful to my husband who is understanding. He is there to support my family financially. Since I want to build a career, I go to college for further education. If he wouldn’t have been there, I would have to juggle between my family, college, and work. I am also grateful to my loving and understanding children- daughter and son. They are very supportive in my education. For instance, they help me do household chores, like vacuuming the floor, washing dishes, doing grocery, etc, so that I have time to study. I am thankful to my professors for helping me develop my talents and skills. I am also happy to have a good education, healthy body, clothing, shelter, and food. I am grateful to all those who have created modern medicine. Overall, I thank God for giving me everything.

Happiness in relationships - draft

Gulzar Valli

Professor E. McCormick

English 101

11/6/10

Happiness in Relationships

            Plants need soil, water, sunlight, seeds, patience, and constant care to grow. In the same manner, relationships are similar. There are many factors involved in starting and continuing happier relationships. Relationships are complicated, so in order to maintain happiness, we need to conserve them. People can cultivate happier relationships through unconditional love, compromise, and acceptance.

            One factor a relationship must have is unconditional love. Unconditional love is to love someone for who they really are. People enjoy being loved for who they really are. Unconditional love can be for people or anyone. Humans who show unconditional love, expect nothing in return. A mother-child relationship is a good example which portrays this. The mother’s love for the child is unconditional. She expects nothing in return from the child. Even if the child turns out to be a thief or murderer, a mother’s love will be the same. It will not become less or fade away. As Tal-Ben Shahar has mentioned in his article entitled, “Happiness in Relationships”, “Unconditional love creates a parallel circle of happiness- in which we are encouraged to pursue those things that are meaningful and pleasurable for us.” Referring back to the example, a mother seeks to please her child in many ways because he/she is meaningful to her and she receives pleasure from it. He further says, “Unconditional love is the foundation of a happy relationship.” Therefore, unconditional love is necessary to manage a happier relationship.

It’s difficult to cultivate a relationship without compromise. It takes patience, listening, and fair expectations to build up this mutual bond. In any relationship, people have to share everything they have equally, specifically all the responsibilities. For instance, in a marriage, the husband and wife should compromise with each other, especially when both of them are working. All the work involved in the household like cleaning, cooking, washing dishes, etc should be shared equitably. In this way, one person doesn’t feel over burdened and stressed out. It’s a two-way street. If a person doesn’t share the household responsibilities, he/she will be considered selfish, which in turn will break the relationship, whereas if a person will share the responsibilities, they will build a healthy relationship which will turn into a happy relationship. Tal-Ben Shahar, in his article “Happiness in Relationships” states, “In order to feel satisfied within a relationship, we have to feel that the transaction is equitable.” If one of the partners feels that they are putting in more than the other, so that the other can feel more comfortable and relaxed, both partners will end up feeling unhappy in their life. Hence, in order to be happy in any relationship, the give and take process must be equal.

            Also for a happy relationship, people need to have fair, realistic expectations. Humans need to understand that nobody is perfect. An individual has good as well as bad sides. People go along well with the good side, but they should learn to compromise with the bad side. An individual thinks that they don’t see or expect much from each other in a relationship, but it’s not true. People have high expectations from each other, so they need to realize that when they have high or unfair expectations towards each other, they have a tendency to hurt each other. This can fail any consanguinity. One has to accept people the way they are. Part of compromise is to be realistic of your partner’s expectations. In order to obtain happiness, one should have fair expectations to foster happiness in relationships.

            Another factor that happy relationships must have is acceptance. An individual needs to have understanding and patience in order to accept the other person in any relationship. Accepting something means that you are accepting the entire thing. You can’t take the good qualities and leave out the bad ones. For instance, in friendship, both friends must accept the strengths and weaknesses of the other. Accepting each others weaknesses means that a person understands his/her friend as he/she is. Furthermore, acceptance will result in trust and intimacy. As Tal-Ben Shahar has mentioned in his article, “Happiness in Relationships”, “To cultivate genuine intimacy the focus in a relationship must shift from the desire to be validated- seeking approval and praise- to the desire to be known.” In other words, a person needs to be real to be known and only then can he/she build trust and intimacy. One can only be intimate when they know the person for real because intimacy means real closeness. This shows the relationship between being known and intimacy which means moving from a superficial level to a more sincere level. All in all, the desire to be known interlinks with the quality of acceptance. Therefore, acceptance plays a major role in developing a happier relationship.

            Thus, unconditional love is essential for a relationship to grow happier. It is also necessary to have fair and realistic expectations. In addition, acceptance results in trust and intimacy which helps build a stronger relationship. Hence, cultivating happiness in relationships requires unconditional love, compromise, and acceptance.

                       

Works Cited Page

Ben-Shahar, Tal. Happier. New York: Mc Graw -Hill, 2009.

Blog # 4

Happiness and Work

             Human beings need to work in order to fulfill their basic survival needs. We have to pay our rent, utility bills, grocery and all our basic necessities of life. In order to fulfill these needs, we need hard currency. This can be achieved from work or doing a job. It is also important that we are happy in our work in order to increase our satisfaction. So, hard currency and ultimate currency which go hand in hand are important for our survival. Now, how can we derive happiness in work?

            If we are interested in our work and if it matches our skills, then we will definitely derive satisfaction, which will lead to the ultimate currency, but some individuals work only for the hard currency. They look at their jobs, which will give them financial gains rather than personal satisfaction.

            Tal Ben-Shahar in his article named “Happiness in the Workplace” mentions, “Finding the right work, work that corresponds to both our passions and our strengths can be challenging.” I agree with him because I feel that it is very challenging to find a job in this bad economy which matches our passions and skills. For instance, I don’t have a job experience, but I have a friend named Jane who is a computer engineer. Due to the bad economy, she received a lay-off before a year.  At present, she works in Dunkin Donuts. She goes to work because she feels that she has to, rather than she wants to. Jane has no other expectations from her job besides her paycheck at the end of the week and looks forward to Friday for it. She is not happy at all because her skills are not matching her job. She has to pay her utility bills, rent, etc, so she is doing this job just for the sake of money.

           Hence, a career-minded person is primarily motivated by money as well as progress, so I think that thinking about meaning pleasure and our strengths can lead us towards more happiness and success in the workplace.

What did I find about myself?

I found out that I can be a counselor. After doing this activity, I also found that I can be a good Nurse, because I like to take care of people and feel happy helping those in need. As it is my dream to be a registered nurse, I think my skills correspond to my future goal which is to be a nurse.

Assignment #1: How you can increase your own happiness in education

            Learning doesn’t stop with age. Education is a life-long learning process. I think education is the journey which helps us achieve our goals. Mark Van Doren in the article “Happiness in Education” states, “Our best chance for happiness is education”. He means that the best happiness is found in education. But how do we find happiness in education? Education creates more happiness in my life by giving me more opportunities to grow as a better individual. It opens my mind which increases my self-confidence and allows me to prepare to achieve my career goals and in turn make me feel much happier in life.

            Education expands our mind by acquiring knowledge in our day-to-day life. My career goal is to become a Registered Nurse. One of the pre-requisites which I’m currently studying is General Psychology. Psychology is the study of behavior and mental processes. Inter- personal skills are required to be a nurse. These skills are gained by knowing things, so this course will give me knowledge on these skills. I get a deeper understanding of how to interact with people. Also, knowledge allows us to change our perspectives and consider other ideas in order to analyze and think critically. I can understand ideas much better than I did before. I can increase my happiness by taking more social sciences courses to widen my knowledge and understanding.

            Education helps build self-confidence and therefore increases happiness. Self-confidence is being content with yourself with your capabilities, abilities, and intelligence skills in your daily activities. All these things will make you happy with yourself. Education helps to build and acquire new skills and these build self-confidence. If we go to school and work, we learn to balance and be more responsible. Character traits are an asset and can benefit us. Self-confidence builds our character and it’s a part of our inner self. For instance, I go to school full-time. I don’t work, but I have to manage my household (husband and children), so I have to balance my college responsibilities as well as household responsibilities. Although it is difficult, I have learned to balance, multitask, prioritize and manage time. All these skills have helped me accomplish my tasks and in turn boosted my self-confidence. This has made me happy with the person I have become and leads me towards my goal.

            Going back to school after twenty years has increased my self-confidence and happiness. Learning or achieving a degree in another country is difficult because the rules, language, and processes are different. Overcoming these differences will make me happier in education. Adaptability to a new environment is important to increase your happiness. A new or unknown environment usually creates stress and fear. One chooses to either adjust to this new environment or not, but I chose to overcome this obstacle and thus build my self-confidence. As Tal Ben-Shahar in his article “Happiness in the Workplace” has mentioned that, “What we need if we are to implement change in our lives is courage. And courage is not about not having fear but about having fear and going ahead anyway”. He is saying that if we implement change in our life, we need courage as well as fear to move ahead in life.

            Now, how does education help you accomplish your dream? My life-long dream has been to become a registered nurse. Since my childhood, I’ve liked to care of people and help them. I have migrated from India to the U.S. I achieved my GED and I’m currently doing my pre-requisites in LaGuardia Community College (LAGCC). I want to get into the LAGCC’s nursing program, accomplish my nursing degree, and eventually work in a hospital. In order to attain this degree, one must be perseverant, committed, responsible, and hardworking. My professors and I both see these qualities in me. For example, LAGCC has a very strict attendance policy. I agree with this because I believe attendance is very important to learn because if you miss out on course work, it is harder to keep up with what’s going on in class. This is the reason why I haven’t missed any class or assignment ever since the semester began. I think our presence and commitment does make a difference. I think being a nurse will make me happy in life. I believe that education is the bridge which will link me to my profession. As Tal Ben-Shahar has stated in his article “Happiness in Education”, “As I discussed earlier in the chapter on goals, having a clear destination in mind liberates us to enjoy the journey.” This means that if you have a clear goal in mind, then you have the freedom to enjoy the journey. Since I have a clear goal in mind, I’m enjoying my journey, which gives meaning to my life. My happiness comes from knowing that I’m going on the right path that will lead me to accomplish my dream.

            I think that there is one thing I need to change about myself. I have a habit of over-analyzing. I have a tendency to over-analyze things and as a result, miss out on simple things. For instance, whenever I have a task to do, I think too much and end up with exhaustion. When I was in the midst of acquiring my GED, my teacher, Charles Perkins used to give essays to write in class. I used to sit thinking and watching the others, while they use to start writing and finish off on time. I remember he used to say, “Let go! You don’t have to be perfect! Just write whatever comes in your mind!” So, hopefully I will try to change myself.

            In addition to over-analyzing, I think I should participate in class discussions. I do not participate more in class because first of all, I’m shy, and secondly, I think I may be wrong. In Ken Robinson’s video entitled “Do Schools Kill Creativity?” he says, “If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you will never come up with anything original…We stigmatize mistakes. Mistakes are the worst things you can make.” Mr. Robinson’s words have inspired me because they have helped me realize my weaknesses and bring out my strengths. I will try to come out of my “shell” and share my ideas in order to raise my self-esteem and get one step closer to success.

            In conclusion, education will help me grow and be a better individual, and allow me to prepare for my journey to reach my destination. Pursuing my nursing degree makes me happy because I feel I’m one step closer to accomplishing my career goal. Hence, I think I can increase my happiness in education by acquiring knowledge which will broaden the horizons of my mind and result in learning new skills eventually boosting my self-confidence.

Blog #2

          Education is a life-long learning process. Learning does not stop with a human being's age. I think Education is one of the keys to success. . Ken Robinson also says in his video, 'Do schools kill creativity' that everyone has an interest in education. We all do have interest. He further says that our education system is formed in such a way that it doesn't bring up the different talents in the children. This means it lacks creativity. Creativity should be as important  in education as literacy.Every education system on earth has the same hierarchy of subjects. First, Language and Mathematics, second, Humanities and finally, Arts. (Art & Music than Drama & Dance) Ken questions, "Why not Dance?" Math is as important as Dance, but if you have an interest in learning music and dance, you will not get a job on those grounds. Some enjoy school while others feel like it is a burden. They do not enjoy doing it, but they just do it for the sake of getting a good job in the future. I also agree with  Mark Van Doren's statement in the article Happiness in Education  where he says, "Our best chance for happiness is Education." But how do we find Happiness in Education?

          I am a Visual and Kinesthetic learner. I learn better when I see or do things. I can work better in groups than on my own. I don't see myself the way as others see me. I am a very shy person, having a very low self-esteem and weak public-speaking skills. My parents and my in-laws never appreciated me for who I was. In fact, they always showed me my drawbacks. Even back home in my school, since I was shy I was always overlooked by my teachers. As Tal Ben - Shahar has mentioned in his article 'Happiness in Education' about the two models that show how students are motivated: the drowning model and the lovemaking model. I think I was like a drowning model in the context that I was drowning in work that I didn't enjoy and was motivated by the fear of failure. I used to be relieved and happy after my exams, but here in school I'm experiencing the opposite. I am being appreciated by my professors. I was so happy when I got an e-mail from my professor saying that I got the highest grade in my class for an assignment. I feel that my esteem is slowly rising high and is motivating me to learn and come to school. I think I have changed from the drowning model to the lovemaking model because I feel that I have developed a love for learning. I enjoy coming to school and know that it has both present and future benefits. As Tal Ben - Shahar says, "As in the drowning model, there is a desirable end goal, but in the lovemaking model, we derive satisfaction from everything we do along the way." Basically, at present, I feel satisfied and confident in everything that I do in school.

         My future educational goal is to become a ' registered nurse'. From my childhood, I had a strong feeling to help and care for the sick people. I think and feel that when a person is sick you have no self esteem, you can't fight a crippling disease, no one to make you feel special, everyone abandons you and as a patient you have to rely and listen to someone who is a stranger(nurse). So I think I would be the right fit, because I like to care and help those people in most need. I have started taking my pre-requisites(courses needed) to get into the Nursing program. I am going through the journey to achieve my goal(destination). During this process, I will try to come out of the shell, participate more in class discussions and try to build  my public speaking skills. Hopefully, Inshaallah(God Willing) If I become a nurse I think it will help me build my self esteem high as well as help  raise the patient's self-esteem too. So, I think this education and profession will make me happy in life. As Tal Ben has stated in his article, that if you have a clear goal in mind then you have the freedom to enjoy the journey.

          Hence psychologists Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explains that having goals, having a clear sense of purpose is necessary in order to attain flow, According to him, "Flow is a state in which one is immersed in an experience that is rewarding in and of itself, a state in which we feel we are one with the experience,in which action and awareness are merged". Which means we derive pleasure or enjoy doing a particular task, we feel like we are absorbed in doing a particular thing for example, while talking to a friend or reading a book we are engrossed so much that we fail to hear anything and also we realize that hours have gone by when it seemed that only minutes had passed. These are some of the experiences of flow. When we are in a state of flow, we experience pleasure and perform at our best. In other words, we experience flow when the difficulty of the task and the level of our skills correlate with each other.

          To conclude,  " Human beings are created as such that we cannot stop learning. We learn about areas of information that we will never have personal contact with.For example, living in a submarine, or being an athlete in the olympics. The information we get will not even cover one- fourth of our brain cells. I think education is a privilege. I feel that we can find happiness in education by combining our learning styles as well as  love of learning together,also by creating environments at home and school that provide conditions which makes it easier to experience pleasure, meaning, as well as present and future benefits. 

      

          

Blog 1

            Today, many psychologists are trying to understand “Happiness”. A professor in Harvard’s Department of Psychology along with his collaborator Tim Wilson of the University of Virginia have taken the lead in studying a specific type of theory of emotional and behavioral prediction called “Impact Bias”. Gilbert and Wilson call the gap between what we predict and what we ultimately experience the “impact bias”- “impact” meaning the errors we make in estimating both the intensity and duration of our emotions and “bias”- our tendency to err. I agree with their theory of “impact bias” which to me means the gap between how and what we predict will make us happy or unhappy and then actually how we feel after what really happens or occurs. We tend to become uncertain when it comes to imagining how we will feel about something in the future. Many of us are not good at making decisions for the future. Good events prove less intense and stay for a shorter period of time, whereas as bad events also prove less intense and stay brief than our actual prediction.

            I have experienced the theory of “impact bias” in my life. One example which I would like to share concerns my education. I always wanted to pursue further education in the U.S after graduating from high school in India. I thought that it would be difficult and stressful to go back to school after twenty years. In the beginning, I didn’t know where to start, but once I earned my GED, and attained admission into college, I realized that it wasn’t as hard as I had predicted. “Impact bias” played a role in this situation because I made the mistake of predicting something intensively bad, but it didn’t turn out to be as I had thought before, and it didn’t stay too long. This was an event where my thoughts and feelings changed from negative to positive.

            Another experience which involved the idea of “impact bias” in my life occurred when I had migrated to the U.S. I made the mistake of predicting that everything good would happen when I decided to have a baby. I thought that it would give me intense pleasure and will last long, but it turned out to be the opposite. From the very first month I conceived, until the ninth month, I had to face many troubles. During the labor pain, I was in a trauma. After delivering the baby when I came back home, of course I was happy, but had to face everything all by myself since my husband was the only breadwinner and had to work long hours. I spent a surplus of nights without sleep and had to take care of the baby all alone. It wasn’t the right decision at that time, when I had just migrated to the U.S. Again, what I had predicted and ultimately experienced was different. My happiness after delivering the baby was not so intense and also didn’t last very long. Hence, this was the event where my thoughts and emotions changed from positive to negative.

            In conclusion, “impact bias” is so prevalent around the world. Hence, I agree with Gilbert and Wilson’s idea of “impact bias” because we always tend to overestimate and underestimate our potential happiness and that’s true for positive and negative events.  We often make bad choices when we predict for the future. Jon Gertner in his New York Times article named “The Futile Pursuit of Happiness”, has mentioned, “When it comes to predicting exactly how you will feel in the future, you are most likely wrong.”I would like to end with a quote of Daniel Gilbert where he says, “The problem is you can’t always get what you want. Do we even know what makes us happy? And if it’s difficult to figure out what make us happy in the moment, how can we predict what will make us happy in the future?” 

Intro

Hi, I am Gulzar. My major is Undeclared Health. I like to make new friends. My hobby is listening music. I would like to study in groups.

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